Not So Bright

The obligatory link: California may ban conventional lightbulbs by 2012

Sure, it's not federal, but its exactly the kind of meddling that catches on with lawmakers, so ridiculing it now isn't entirely unwarranted. I'm sure there is plenty good to be said for whatever type of bulbs they're intending to push in place of the old-fashioned kind, but y'know, if they're really that much better/brighter/more cost-effective/whatever else, they'll win out in the market without the government ever actually having to lay their hands on the issue. (The obligatory reference to government-mandated gallons-per-flush on toilets, which you can find on pretty much any blog covering this issue, would go here.)

Stepping back from the actual issue for a moment, I'd like to engage in a little invective, to the point of getting in a light-based joke or two. Just how dim is Lloyd Levine, exactly? I mean, it has to take a pretty low mental wattage rating to miss the fact that calling this the "How many legislators does it take to change a lightbulb act" is going to cause people to laugh at him, not with him.

Anyway, here's hoping that this idea disappears in a collective brownout of the California legislature.

Flash Gaming

The obligatory link: Dig Your Own Grave - Cubefield

Cubefield - A simple enough game, really. Guide your "ship", and I use that term loosely, with the left and right arrow keys through fields of blocks. If you crash, it's game over... and you keep playing until you crash. The early portion isn't terribly difficult.

High scores are available on the site, though if you want something to shoot for right off, I racked up 329k on my first play through.

Geoff Reviews (Whatever Crosses His Path)

I know I've talked about reviewing before. Anyway, the short version for this purpose is that I'm going into this as a fan. That means that a) I'm biased, naturally, and b) I'm looking for entertainment value before I ever look for art value. For the purposes of ranking, I'll use a six-part scale, as follows: (1. Don't recommend even trying to watch it; 2. Minimally watchable, give it a shot if it somehow piques your interest or falls into one of your preferred niches; 3. An average show, neither really good nor bad; 4. A good show, actually recommendable; 5. A great show, give it a try unless it falls in a genre that you actively dislike; 6. An excellent show, at least give it a shot whether you like the genre or not.) Remember, though, that all of these are biased through my belief in what constitutes good and bad in a show (or a book, or music, for that matter). I'll try to be as clear as possible as to what that bias is, though, so that the ratings will actually be useful to you.

Up today is the anime series Gungrave. This was recommended to me by a friend of mine as one of his favorites. I was almost willing after the first episode to write it off as an incredibly generic, over-cooked action/adventure show for boys (hereafter called a shounen action, meaning an action show for young boys), but, between the praise that my friend had given it, and the fact that I try to give series at least two or three episodes to develop before deciding whether or not to dump them, I plowed on.

I'm certainly glad that I did. In contrast to the first episode, where everything was displayed in a characteristic over-the-top, semi-futuristic, shounen action way, the series quickly settled into the past, concentrating on the lives of the two young men who would become the major players in what the first episode had established as the present. To put it simply, I came to a shounen action series, and a character drama broke out. The characters developed a level of depth that I certainly hadn't expected... always a good thing, in my estimation.

By my measure, the arc in the past was strong, concentrating primarily on how the two main characters, Harry MacDowel and Brandon Heat, came from being low-grade street punks to rise through the ranks of Millennion, the criminal organization which controlled their city.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and the past is not indefinitely long. Shortly after the halfway point of the 26-episode series, the show caught back up with the present, with all of the over-the-top-ness that implied from episode one... with bells on. Instead of the story of people we could accept as real, we have guys sprouting extra limbs, explosive bombs made of body fat, and helicopter blades coming out of their backs, amongst other things.

There should be no surprise that the best moments of the second half of the series were also the most human ones, and that extended even as far as the obligatory fights. The more human the opponent in question was (I hesitate to use the word villain, since where are you going to apply it? To the current members of the mob? Or the former hit man now out for revenge against the organization?), the more interesting the fight was.

Now, I'm given to understand that the "present" portion of Gungrave was actually based off of the first video game of the same name. That being the case, whoever wrote the "past" portion did an impressive job of storytelling. If only they would have allowed a rewrite of the game-based portion by that same person to cut down on the excesses, I could have classified this as a great show.

Title: Gungrave
Media: DVD
Audio: Japanese, with English subtitles (an English dub is included on the discs, but what little of it I listened to made me wish I hadn't)

Overall: A good show that bordered for a long time on greatness. I'd suggest giving it a shot, but understanding that if you're not really a fan of the first episode, there will be parts of the second half that you won't have any appreciation for. If you get that far, though, see it through to the end, as the ending lives up to the expectations placed upon it.

Tattooed Monks?

I actually saw this yesterday linked off of the Volkswagen Polo ad. It's the cute short story of a young boy who goes to a monastery to train. Anyway, with no further ado, here's your link.

Just Vicious

I'll be the first to admit, I have a wicked sense of humor. Well, apparently, so does whoever came up with this ad for the Volkswagen Polo. Note that I watched it without sound, so I can't say whether or not it contains non-worksafe language.

Found on Youtube, linked from Boortz under the title "German engineering versus Arab technology."

Japanese of the Week

未だ未だ (madamada) adv. - still some way to go before goal; still more to come; much more; not yet

An amusing alliteration, if nothing else. Of course, it's pretty easy to do such a thing, due to the structure of the "letters"... Still, it's certainly useful in many cases. The one that's likely to be taught first in a real Japanese class would be using "madamada" as part of a response to a compliment of your skills in some area. In an anime setting, it's more likely to be heard either from someone in a losing position who isn't giving up, or from someone refusing to let up.

The Offense of Working

"What is it about it (the minimum wage) that drives you Republicans crazy? What is it about working men and women that you find so offensive?" -- Ted Kennedy (D. - Massachusetts)

To the first question, a great many people brighter than I have taken stabs at it, but it boils down to this: The minimum wage reduces the number of available jobs at the low end of the pay scale, hurting the people that the raise in the wage is purported to help.

The really funny thing about it is, the people who call for raises in the minimum wage actually do understand the concept of people buying less of a thing if it costs more. This, of course, is where the calls for $X/gallon gasoline come from, to try to convince people to drive less. Now, maybe they can't bring themselves to accept that a person's labor is a product just as gasoline is, but it works out the same in the end.

It's the second question that really gets my goat, though. Setting aside the fact that, were I a good fiscal conservative, I'd probably sell the goat, there's something about this blatant attempt at class warfare that rubs me wrong. Probably something to do with the fact that I am one of those working class folk.

Now, I'll grant you, there are Republicans out there who think that way. At the same time, though, I have no doubt that such sentiment crosses party lines quite readily. And, just as undoubtedly, there are people out there of all persuasions who have no beef with working folk just for being working folk whatsoever.

Japanese of the Week

I wanted to use this one last week, when the word was used on CPR, but I didn't get the chance to. So, a week late, then...

博聞 (hakubun) adj-na,n. - well-informed; erudite

The more appropriate word for the week, on the other hand, would be this:

忙しい (isogashii) adj. - busy; irritated

State of the Union (my take)

It's the nature of doing something like this after the fact, that I get to pick it apart to my own content. For those who want the speech in its entirety, I got it from whitehouse.gov, here.

Our citizens don't much care which side of the aisle we sit on -- as long as we're willing to cross that aisle when there is work to be done.

Well, you know, the first part of that is pretty accurate. Of course, it shows more in the fact that more people believe that the Democrats are the small-government party these days than anything else... I wouldn't go so far as to say that there isn't a lick of difference between them, but there probably aren't all that many licks.

Our job is to make life better for our fellow Americans, and to help them to build a future of hope and opportunity(...)

Gag me, please, somebody. Their jobs are enumerated very clearly here and here, in this document. Maybe I'm not reading close enough, but the concept of helping the people build a future of hope and opportunity isn't popping out at me.

In the coming weeks, I will submit a budget that eliminates the federal deficit within the next five years. (Applause.) I ask you to make the same commitment. Together, we can restrain the spending appetite of the federal government, and we can balance the federal budget.

Brilliant. Let's see it.

First, I propose a standard tax deduction for health insurance that will be like the standard tax deduction for dependents. Families with health insurance will pay no income on payroll tax -- or payroll taxes on $15,000 of their income. Single Americans with health insurance will pay no income or payroll taxes on $7,500 of their income.

States that make basic private health insurance available to all their citizens should receive federal funds to help them provide this coverage to the poor and the sick.

Here comes mean, heartless me, full in my belief that this isn't part of the government's enumerated jobs, either. Really, they'd do better by calling for and offering less tampering, such as getting laws out of the way that would let people actually... y'know... buy the insurance they want, rather than being restricted by legal requirements.

(...)we cannot fully secure the border unless we take pressure off the border -- and that requires a temporary worker program. We should establish a legal and orderly path for foreign workers to enter our country to work on a temporary basis. As a result, they won't have to try to sneak in, and that will leave Border Agents free to chase down drug smugglers and criminals and terrorists.

As far as it goes, it sounds good in theory. What is left unsaid, though, and is the real crux of this matter, is that it would be extended to people who already broke the law and entered the country illegally. There's a world of difference between people who would like to come in given a reasonable chance, and people who blatantly ignore the rule of law.

Now, I'll grant you, an argument could be made that we don't even need the temporary worker program. Still, if we were in a situation where we had to accept such a thing in turn for it not being applied to those who are already illegal... is that enough to accept it? Or is there a good reason for wanting to throw it out altogether that I just haven't come up with, or happened across?

We need to resolve the status of the illegal immigrants who are already in our country without animosity and without amnesty.

It doesn't take animosity, or amnesty. It takes finding them, picking them up, and dropping them off back in the country they came from. Last time I checked, after all, the word illegal still meant something. Maybe not, though... I suppose it's possible that they pulled it from the dictionary around the same time they removed gullible.

We need to press on with battery research for plug-in and hybrid vehicles, and expand the use of clean diesel vehicles and biodiesel fuel. (Applause.) We must continue investing in new methods of producing ethanol -- (applause) -- using everything from wood chips to grasses, to agricultural wastes.

Tell you what: There are a bunch of companies in this country who are in the business of energy. Let's get the government regulations out of their way and let them figure out how to solve our energy problems. I have a great deal more faith in their ability to do such a thing, and I have sneaking suspicions that the cost in dollars and time will be significantly lower, as well.

Tonight, I ask Congress to join me in pursuing a great goal. Let us build on the work we've done and reduce gasoline usage in the United States by 20 percent in the next 10 years. (Applause.) When we do that we will have cut our total imports by the equivalent of three-quarters of all the oil we now import from the Middle East.

To reach this goal, we must increase the supply of alternative fuels, by setting a mandatory fuels standard to require 35 billion gallons of renewable and alternative fuels in 2017 -- and that is nearly five times the current target. (Applause.) At the same time, we need to reform and modernize fuel economy standards for cars the way we did for light trucks -- and conserve up to 8.5 billion more gallons of gasoline by 2017.

Let me say this right now, as a car guy, rather than a small-government conservative. Get your damned government regulations out of my car. The sludge passed off as fuel they call ethanol only contains 2/3rds as much power per gallon as regular old gasoline. It costs more in money and energy to produce, and it's more inefficient. Frankly, I twitch just thinkin' about it.

And to further protect America against severe disruptions to our oil supply, I ask Congress to double the current capacity of the Strategic Petroleum Reserve.

Why not triple or quadruple it while we're at it?

We have a shared obligation to ensure that the federal courts have enough judges to hear those cases and deliver timely rulings. As President, I have a duty to nominate qualified men and women to vacancies on the federal bench. And the United States Senate has a duty, as well, to give those nominees a fair hearing, and a prompt up-or-down vote on the Senate floor.

Well, at least it's really one of their jobs. Unfortunately, the likelihood of any action being taken on this resides somewhere in that invisible margin between slim and none.

Our success in this war is often measured by the things that did not happen. We cannot know the full extent of the attacks that we and our allies have prevented, but here is some of what we do know: We stopped an al Qaeda plot to fly a hijacked airplane into the tallest building on the West Coast. We broke up a Southeast Asian terror cell grooming operatives for attacks inside the United States. We uncovered an al Qaeda cell developing anthrax to be used in attacks against America. And just last August, British authorities uncovered a plot to blow up passenger planes bound for America over the Atlantic Ocean. For each life saved, we owe a debt of gratitude to the brave public servants who devote their lives to finding the terrorists and stopping them.

Can we make more of this, please? It's hard enough to find the good stories as it is, so it's certainly nice to hear about them.

These men are not given to idle words, and they are just one camp in the Islamist radical movement. In recent times, it has also become clear that we face an escalating danger from Shia extremists who are just as hostile to America, and are also determined to dominate the Middle East. Many are known to take direction from the regime in Iran, which is funding and arming terrorists like Hezbollah -- a group second only to al Qaeda in the American lives it has taken.

The Shia and Sunni extremists are different faces of the same totalitarian threat. Whatever slogans they chant, when they slaughter the innocent they have the same wicked purposes. They want to kill Americans, kill democracy in the Middle East, and gain the weapons to kill on an even more horrific scale.

Earlier, I made mention of some comments made by Neal Boortz. While a lot of them are well worth reading, this seems to put the lie to the concept that the president didn't properly name the threat in his speech. "Islamist radical (movement)", which one would assume to be made up of Islamist radicals, and so forth.

If American forces step back before Baghdad is secure, the Iraqi government would be overrun by extremists on all sides. We could expect an epic battle between Shia extremists backed by Iran, and Sunni extremists aided by al Qaeda and supporters of the old regime. A contagion of violence could spill out across the country -- and in time, the entire region could be drawn into the conflict.

I can't understand why people refuse to understand this idea. The alternatives to what we are doing are not any better, and most of them end in scenarios a good sight worse.

American foreign policy is more than a matter of war and diplomacy. Our work in the world is also based on a timeless truth: To whom much is given, much is required. We hear the call to take on the challenges of hunger and poverty and disease -- and that is precisely what America is doing.

May I have a moment to go bang my head against the wall? ... ... ... Thank you. I don't really feel better, but at least now I can blame the source of my growing headache on the fact that I just banged my head against a wall. Here comes the broken record again: This is not the job of the United States government. There are plenty of private charities who see to this sort of thing, with less bureaucracy, and fewer overhead costs. This may strike some people as a radical idea, but what if government got out of people's pockets to the extent that they're in them to pay for this sort of thing, and we'll see people who have that extra money that they can then give to such charities if they so choose.

When America serves others in this way, we show the strength and generosity of our country. These deeds reflect the character of our people.

What generosity is forced generosity, exactly? If you have no choice in whether or not the money is donated, then is it really generous, or a donation at all?

The stories that the president ended on really are quite inspiring. I would certainly suggest reading them, if you haven't had a chance to do so.

Short Shots

The Hotline, a blog affiliated with the National Journal, says that "freshmen" is out and "new" is in for referring to the freshman class of electees. I've seen some pretty meaningless semantics in my time, but this one has to rank up there.

In checking around on how people found me, I noticed that one person had gone so far as to translate my page into Japanese via Google for their reading pleasure. Problem was, any time that I'd used any Japanese, it came out wholly garbled as incomprehensible gibberish. On the plus side, however, I took a look at the blog roll, and noticed that Google's translation had completely kanjified the link to the Radio Patriots, as follows: 無線の愛国者 (Musen no Aikokusha, musen being the word for wireless or radio, and aikokusha being patriots, or those who love their country).

In continuation of the above, something interesting happened on the way to translating the title tag. Hakkiri Shinasai remained unchanged, but the Please Make It Clear portion was actually translated as "Sore wo meikaku ni sasenasai".

Every time I see a story about how Americans are spending more time on the computer than they are with their family (such as this one from the Denver Post), I get the feeling that I'm skewing the curve for you all.

Just when you think you've seen everything, you find out that police in Tijuana are having their firearms confiscated and replaced with slingshots. Granted, the issue at hand is serious enough for Tijuana, but on the face of it, there's something amusing about the mental image.

Having been a sometimes writer as a hobby, I have to hand it to this guy, who managed to convince a publishing house to turn out copy of a novel done entirely as text messages, including crappy spelling and grammar. It should probably go without saying that I have no desire to read such a thing, however... (but I said it anyway, in the interest of completeness.)

For those who like shooters for the PC, I'd highly suggest this site. Demos of various games, and freebie full versions where applicable. If I might make a couple of suggestions, Perfect Cherry Blossom is, in my estimation, the best of the Touhou top-shooters. There is a fan translation patch that works on the demo here. Other worthy contenders for playtime are (though certainly not limited to these alone) Tyrian 2000, Warning Forever, and any of the other Touhou top-shooters that happen to be laying about there.

State of the Union

Due to work, I haven't had a chance to go over the speech in full yet myself. However, Neal Boortz has already gone over the text, and has a few insights I wish he didn't have to share, regarding freedom, liberty, security, democracy, and republic.

The obligatory link: State of the Union Speech

So You Want To Learn Japanese?

There are several reasons I've heard for wanting to learn the language, and pretty much all of them were represented in the J103 class I took a year or so back. The people who have to learn it for work will do so whether they actually enjoy the language or not. The best advice for them really is classroom learning, due to the structured environment, and the fact that the teacher isn't likely to teach outside of the niceties.

For everyone that does not apply to, however, I can try to offer a little advice.

First and foremost, if you don't have a reason better than "well, I just kinda want to", I wouldn't really suggest trying. Learning any language, not just Japanese, isn't something that you can put on a hobby level akin to building models. The reasoning for this seems simple enough - that being, doing something outside of necessity requires a good helping of self-motivation... and unlike watching that model boat take shape (a tangible motivation), learning a language "just because" does not offer such immediate rewards. There were many people like this in J103, and not a single one of them went on to J104. (The caveat to this, of course, would be the person for whom learning other languages is a hobby.)

The interest has to come first. Sure, it sounds simple, and I suppose it is, but it's still a true enough statement for all that. My interest (unsurprisingly, amongst the kid through twenty-something age group) started with anime and manga, so I got into the language with that in mind.

Here's how I got as far as I have so far, in order, to the best of my recollection. Note that I don't really suggest going about learning the language this way, unless it's truly incidental to the enjoyment of entertainment of Japanese origin. You could call the following the hard way, or the scenic route, depending on your preference.

Some time in 1996, two of my friends independently suggested a couple of anime to me. At the time, I had no idea what made it different (we all watched English dubs in those days, since dub/sub did not come on the same VHS... yes, VHS tape, and the Japanese with subtitles version cost an additional ten bucks a pop), other than that it was generally much less episodic than what was normally shown in the various afternoon cartoon blocs. This appealed greatly, since it struck me as more akin to novels, as opposed to the short story structure of the cartoons of the day.

Two years later, give or take a few months, I started my first attempt at translating a manga. It almost goes without saying that I made negligible headway on that project. Not that it was a bad idea, really, so much as that I made a bad choice as to which manga to try to translate.

From there, anime on video evolved to the new media, DVDs, and at that time, the English dub track and the Japanese track were included on the same product for the first time. I'd like to be able to say that we made the choice due to some high-minded idea like wanting to watch the shows in their original form, but it's far more likely that we were just sick of hearing the same English voices miscast time after time, and switched to the Japanese language track for a change.

The rest went rather as one might expect, given the circumstances. Picking up a word here, a word there, and finally building something that might be called a vocabulary... though, certainly not one to be used in polite company. A lot of the trick in J103 was remembering which words I knew that I shouldn't use. Other than that, though, I was probably over-prepared for an entry-level course.

So, how would I suggest going about this, having my own piecemeal experience to look back on?

1) Starting with your interest is fine, but once you know it's not a passing fad for you, start taking classes. If you're not sure where to look for such a thing, your local community college is probably the best place to start. If you have a choice in the matter, I'd also suggest getting a native speaker as your teacher.

2) After that, supplement your education with whatever sources of the language you can find. Japanese restaurants aren't a bad place to try out your education and vocabulary, either. Old subtitled samurai movies aren't bad, either, though you'll get a lot of archaic word usage in them.

3) For the written language, once you have a base of the hiragana and katakana systems, I'd suggest trying to translate manga. Aside from the amusing stories, manga for younger people also tend to include furigana, which are small hiragana (individual syllables - ひらがな, for instance, which are the four hiragana that make up the word "hiragana") to the right of the kanji (advanced ideograms - 漢字, for instance, which make up the word "kanji") which give the sound reading. This makes the kanji in question easier to look up in some instances, since you can search for it via the given hiragana reading, instead of trying to pick out parts of the kanji itself and looking the word up that way.

4) In addition to the above, try to find a good set of kanji flash cards. Working with these during commercial breaks of your favorite show or sporting event seems to work pretty well, in my experience. At the very least, you notice the commercials less.

It Just Takes One Idiot... And A Bunch Of Enablers

The obligatory link: Unilever sends knives to families, children hurt

Y'know, just once, I'd like to be in the meetings where people discuss how to try to drum up more business by sending out random stuff in the mail. After all, plain old letters don't cut it anymore, and coupons are almost as cliche. So, ladies and gentlemen, what else could we possibly send to our mailing list of consumers to entice them to buy more of our margarine? A pen? Nah... A keychain? What are we, a tourist destination? I know, I know! A knife! They can use it to spread the margarine!

How is it that the people in the room don't collectively smack their hands into their foreheads upon hearing something like that? Leaving aside the safety implications, which obviously came up, what person in their right mind is going to attach "knife" to "brand XYZ margarine"?

Marketing... go figure.

Japanese of the Week

I didn't get a chance to do this last week, so rather than try to pass off the translation of the Cyril card trick as one, I'll just do two this week.

一寸 (chotto) adv,int. - just a minute; short time; just a little; hey!

It's very rare to see this printed in kanji, honestly. Much more likely is to see it as ちょっと (in hiragana). Really, chotto is one of those incredibly common words... which brings to mind a sensei-ism. "Chotto is almighty."

To explain, chotto is the word you use to trail off a sentence rather than coming right out and saying something. The power, or, should I say, the almightiness, of it is that it spares the speaker of the need to offer a real explanation... at least, as a matter of Japanese. I'm not even sure of the level of verbal gymnastics that would be required to get around chotto in a polite setting.

Oh, on a note related to the language, I found that while I cannot copy/paste directly from JWPce into the Blogger compose box, I can circumvent it by going from JWPce to Notepad to the compose box. (Note that this requires your computer to have support for Japanese characters.)

So, Who's Miserable?

The obligatory link: Most miserable day of the year

On one level, I can understand the need of some people to be able to quantify something like misery with a number. Not that it helps them do anything with it, mind you, other than being able to think, "Well, at least I'm not as miserable as I was back in XYZ..."

Here's the (supposedly) relevant formula:

Dr Arnalls’ formula is 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA.

Key - W: Weather. D: Debt. d: Money due in January pay. T: Time since Christmas. Q: Time since failed quit attempt. M: General motivational levels. NA: The need to take action.

Now, what I wanted to do was plug things into the formula, just for kicks. However, as you may've noticed if you looked at it, there are a lot of variables that are unworkable without an understanding of their normal range.

Take, for instance W (weather). What's the range for weather? Is a sunny day a 1? A 10? How about if it's cloudy, but not raining or snowing? How about taking the first letter from the word for the given weather and converting it into its equivalent number? (Cloudy would be 3, on that scale, for instance.)

Debt and money due in pay in January are easy, and it's probably safe to assume that the formula wants time since Christmas in days, as well as time since failed quit attempt. But how are we supposed to turn general motivational levels and the need to take action into numeric values?

I suppose the rest of us will have to rely on more seat-of-the-pants calculations... And by those calcs, I'm feelin' pretty good.

Cyril's Fish Tank Trick - A (Rough) Translation

Yesterday, on Constitutional Public Radio (listen here, 3pm-5pm Eastern), a link to a rather impressive magic trick was given. Normally, that would be the end of the story. However, this particular clip happened to be in Japanese... so, taking an interest in it, I translated it, at least so far as my current skills and ability to weed one voice out of another (that darned announcer keeps talking over the magician...).

This is very much in the nature of a quick and dirty translation. I certainly can't guarantee 100% accuracy, but I've tried to mark the points of speculation to make that clear. Hopefully, it's at least readable. A short guide to it: Text in parenthesis is translated from Japanese speech or text. Anything in parenthesis following a double dash (--) is a translator's note, which ends with a (- Trans.).

With that in mind, please enjoy.

Text: 八景島のシー　パラダイス　が　サプライズのステージ (Hakkeijima's Sea Paradise is the stage of the surprise.)

セロが務っかたのはアクア　ミュセアム海の生き物かも (Cyril's trick may have something to do with the creatures kept here.)

たくさんの海洋生物そしてかそく？？の似合うこの氏族かんべい　（カンベイ？） (The announcer is going on about the many creatures there. - Trans.)

Text: 前代未聞　空前絶後のサプライズが幕を開ける！！　(The announcer says the same thing. - Trans.)
Translation: Unprecedented First (and probably last!) unveiling of the trick!! (Kuuzenzetsugo is a noun meaning "so marvelous or horrible that it may be the first, and probably the last.)

Cyril: Hello. Konnichiwa. Bikkurishinaide kudasai. (Hello. Please don't be surprised.) Hello, hello.

Narrator: Okyaku-san wa atsumeru Cyril to iuma ni hito bakkari ga... (Cyril gathers up all the people in the area and...)

Text: 水族館にいるお客さんを集める (Gathering the people at the aquarium)

Narrator: 一体何を始めようというのか？ (Just what is about to happen?)

Text: 衆人環視の中　一体何を始めようというのか？ (In the midst of all these people, just what is about to happen?)

セロ：　これから僕の一番好きマジックをここで披露したいと思います。(I would like to display my favorite magic trick here.)

Text: 一番好きマジックを披露します (Displaying his favorite trick.)

セロ：　So, what's your name?

ゆこ：　Yuko.

セロ：　Yuko. Nice to meet you. Yuko, カード五十二枚あります。　一枚、どれでもいいです、選んで下さい。 (I have 52 cards here. Please, pick whichever of them you would like.)

セロ：　Which one? Which one? Three of clubs. みつばの三です。 (The three of clubs.)

Text: 「みつば（クローバー）の３」です (The three of clubs. (Lit: The three of clovers.))

セロ：　ゆこ、おねがいします、もって下さい。　名前を大きくかいって下さい。 (Yuko, please hold this, and write your name on it in large letters.)

Text: カードを一枚選び　名前を書かせる (One card is chosen, and she writes her name on it.)

Narrator: カードを一枚選ばせ、そして名前にかかせるセロ (She chooses one card, and writes her name on it as Sero requests.)

セロ：　Great! これを書いたこのによくてせいかいで一枚しかないゆこさんのカードになりました。　ゆこ、もって下さい。　ではそんなところでストップ(something)。 (Great! Now, this otherwise normal card has been turned into Yuko-san's card. Yuko, please hold it again. Tell me to stop moving the cards at any time. -- the last line is mostly a guess based on the action in the video. - Trans.)

ゆこ：　Stop.

セロ：　もういってください。 (Please put it there.)

セロ：　みなさん、ゆっくりお見ます。ゆこさんのカードです。まずは真中(something about shuffling the deck). (Everyone, please look closely. This is Yuko-san's card. First, I'm going to shuffle the deck.)

セロ：　Okay? これからちょっと面白い方法を使って、ゆこさんのカードを探したいと思います。 (Okay? Now, using a slightly amusing method, I'm going to search for Yuko-san's card. -- The text on-screen is the same. - Trans.)

セロ：　ゆこ、おねがいります、たのむちょっとカードをシャッフルとして下さい。 (Yuko, would you please shuffle the cards a bit?)

Text: セロが言うおもしろい方法とは？！　(What is Cyril's amazing method? -- The narrator says essentially the same thing. - Trans.)

セロ：　正確水族館にきてんので今日はこの水槽を使って、ゆこのカードをさがします。 (Now, starting in this aquarium, I'm going to use this fish tank to find Yuko's card.)

Text: 水槽を使って探します。 (Using the fish tank to search.)

セロ：　じゃ、みなさん、(Now, everyone... (drowned out by the narration.))

Narrator: 360度全方位？？水槽を使うセロ、このちゅうしんにちゅうもくさせる (Now Cyril, surrounded on all sides, will perform his trick with the fish tank.)

Text: 360度全方位に観客がいる状況 (The spectators are all around him.)

セロ：　You ready? いきます。 (Here I go.)　One. Two. Three!

セロ：　みなさん、一枚のカードはこの水槽のまなかにすいてしまいました。 (Everyone, one card is inside the fish tank.)

セロ：　ゆこさんのカードです。　(It's Yuko-san's card.)

セロ：　取ってめくって下さい。 (Please, try to remove it from the glass. -- Text says the same. - Trans.)

セロ：　取れない。 (You can't take it.)

セロ：　じつはきついただけではなく、じつは水槽の中に入っています。　(In truth, it isn't stuck to the outside of the tank. It's actually IN the tank.)

Text: 水槽の中に（カードが）入っています (The card is in the tank.)

Narrator: セロが飛ばしたカードは水槽の中に入ってしまった。(One of the cards that Cyril sent flying actually entered the tank! -- Text says the same. - Trans.)

セロ：　Yuko-san, may I have your hand? ここをついてきて下さい。　みなさんがよかったらうしろの方にもって、　このカードを見て下さい。(Please follow me this way. Everyone, if you would, please come to the other side of the tank and look at the card.)

Narrator: 本当に彼女が選んだカードなのだろうか？ (Is it really the card that she chose?)

ゆこ：　すご～い　(Wow!)

セロ：　ゆこさんのカードです。 (It's Yuko-san's card.)

Narrator: 彼女が選んだカードはクロバーの三。　そしてセロが選んだカードもクロバーの三。 (The card she picked was the three of clubs. And the card Cyril picked was... also the three of clubs.) そして、セロはそのカードは水槽の中に行ってしまった。 (Furthermore, the card that Cyril picked has entered the fish tank.)

Narrator: しかし、セロのサプライズはこれで終わりではなかった。 (However, Cyril's surprise did not end there. -- Text reads the same. - Trans.)

セロ：　But wait. Wait. みなさん、もう一つどうしても見せたいんです。 (Everyone, there is one more thing that I'd like to show you.)

セロ：　とうぞ見えないの方こちらの方にきて下さい。 Come over here. 見えない方 (Please, would the people on the far side of the tank come over here. Come over here. -- I assume he repeats himself again in Japanese at this point, but the narrator talks right over him again. Can't really understand one bit of what either of them are saying at that point. - Trans.)

Narrator:　。。。じょうきょうでわれわれは奇跡の瞬間を目撃する！！ (What kind of miracle are we going to witness now?)

セロ：　このナプキンで拭くとどうなるか分かりますか？ (Do you know why I'm wiping the side of the tank with this napkin?)

セロ：　窓（ガラス）はきれいになります。 (So that the glass will be clean.)

セロ：　Okay. じつは窓はきれいになるだけではなく、じつはこするとガラスが柔らかくなってきます。 (Okay. Really, I'm not doing it just so the glass will be clean. The truth is, I want to soften it up just a bit.)

Narrator: ガラスが柔らかくなるとは？ (Soften it up a bit? -- Text is the same. - Trans.)

Narrator: いったいどういうことなのか？ (What does he mean by that?)

Narrator: いけんするとガラスはふつうのかたいガラスにしか見えない。 (However you look at it, the glass looks like normal glass.)

セロ：　Now watch.

Narrator:　かみナプキンを水槽のガラスにかむせい、セロが上からガラスを？？はじめ。　するとガラスを？？？ (Placing the paper napkin on the glass wall of the fish tank, Cyril begins pressing on the glass from above. -- The next line has to be about him making headway into it. - Trans.)

Narrator:　なんと水槽の中にセロの手いちのガラスを入ってしまった (Somehow, Cyril has put one hand through the wall of the fish tank!)

Text: 水槽の中に手を入れてしまった (One hand in the tank.)

Narrator:　よくから見えとたしかにセロの手が水槽の中に入ってがくりんできる (Certainly, looking at it, Cyril has stretched one of his hands into the tank.)

Narrator:　手をどんどんと中にいれ、水槽のはんたいのガラスへ。。。その一枚のカードを手に取る。　やっぱり、カードはガラスをかんたんに水槽の内側に入っていた！ (He stretches his hand out slowly towards the far side of the tank... and takes the card in hand. As expected, the card was stuck to the inside of the glass wall of the tank!)

Text:　　カードは水槽の内側に入っていた (The card was inside the tank.)

Narrator: そして、カードを手にしたもら手はふたたびそとのせいぞう (And, card in hand, he pulls his arm safely back out of the tank.)

Crowd: すごい (Wow!)

Narrator: (Now, let's see that one more time. And recap it, naturally. - Trans.)

Swastika Hijacking?

The obligatory link: Hindus opposing EU swastika ban

A friend of mine linked me to this last night, and I couldn't help but be interested. I mean, it's not every day that you hear about people standing up in defense of something so closely associated in the minds of people with the Nazis, even if the people in question were using it long beforehand.

On closer reading, particularly from the Wikipedia entry on the subject, it appears that the ban of the image in Germany does not include religious usages. The question then becomes, is that same exception carved out in the ban being put forth to the EU, as the only wording I've found on it is rather vague.

One For The Good News Files

The obligatory link: Afghan civilians stop terror attack at U.S. base

Honestly, I was rather surprised to happen across this while perusing news sources this morning. Pleasantly surprised, of course. After all, hardly a day goes by that there isn't a headline from some news agency of a suicide bombing killing or injuring people somewhere... So nice to see one averted, and in a spectacular manner at that.

Sick, Twisted Scam - Be Forewarned

The obligatory link: New Phisher Tactic: Pay Me Or I'll Kill You

From the same kind of low-life scum that cooked up the Nigerian e-mail scam, undoubtedly. Not to mention, yet another good reason not to open e-mail if you don't know the sender.

In any event, since the article was so good as to give us a sample of the main body of the scam mail in question, we can do something about it without having ever received one personally. If you don't know the general procedure to set up rules in Outlook, please refer to this post. Now, instead of checking the box "which has an attachment", we're going to choose "with specific words in the body". Adding a couple of the phrases from the mail in question will do. I'd choose "Do not contact the police" and "I turned out to be a betrayer", since they're not so common that they might accidentally filter legitimate mails from people, but the choice is yours. Continue with the rest of setting up a rule, and apply it.

Delay Dementia By Four Years?

The obligatory link: Bilingualism has protective effect in delaying onset of dementia by four years, Canadian study shows

It's an interesting idea, I suppose. Of course, they don't say what constitutes real "lifelong use of two languages". Does picking up a second language at seventeen count? (And if it does, does that make me an honorary member of the juunana sai cult?)

Looking down the article, it takes better than half the article to finally get to the real statistical value of the study... a whole 184 people. So, file this one under "more research is needed", I suppose.