Bring In The Stunt Double!

The obligatory link: Stand-in mistress sought to take wife's abuse

This is definitely one of those stories that sounds too odd to be true. Then again, I'm still sitting on another one about what is essentially rent-a-wife, so maybe this does fit right in. Essentially, a guy wants to hire a lady to take the fall as his mistress so that his wife won't find out about his real mistress. Not quite enough to set one's head to spinning, but it's certainly getting there.

Still, all things considered, as long as the guy can keep knives and heavy weaponry out of it, the equivalent of $2,400/hour isn't exactly a bad take...

Another Trope Bites The Dust

The obligatory link: Petrol lit with a cigarette? Only in the movies.

Sounds like an episode of Myth Busters to me, but apparently tests have been done by the ATF to see whether or not a lighted cigarette can cause gasoline to combust. Unsurprisingly (if you read either the title or the link title), it won't. Not even if the cigarette is currently being puffed on (which increases the temperature by 200 degrees Celsius or so). Now it's just another thing requiring a suspension of disbelief.

The real question here is, "Why doesn't it work?" After all, the temperatures seem conducive to it. Unfortunately, the folks conducting the test don't have an answer for us. And since it's a rather obscure focus for further scientific study, the world may never know.

Let's Go Fly A Kite

The obligatory link: Pakistan: 11 dead, 100 injured in kite flying festival

Okay, I expected the deaths from stray bullets. What I didn't expect where the sharpened kite strings. ... ... ... Yes, you heard me right. I said, "Sharpened kite strings."

And yes, the article is going to tell you how such a thing happens. Instead of thread, or maybe fishing line, the use of wires or glass coatings is involved. What possible reason could there be to turn kite flying into combat, though? I don't get it.

Read-Worthy

I have a few things kicking around that aren't going to garner posts from me, but they are worth a read. So I'll go ahead and link 'em up.

A Political History of SF - Talking about the history of libertarianism in science fiction. Not to be missed for any SF fan. It has the added bonus of mentioning many books, so its probably a good place to start if you're looking to put together an SF reading list.

Lottery can become a game of no chance - About how the state lottery commission in Texas lets those scratch-'em games go on long after all the prizes worth talking about have been claimed. "Idiot tax", anyone? Oh, and a note to the couple of people from the lottery commission there who have dropped by just to read this, welcome.

Al Gore An Energy Hog? Say It Ain't So! - Brainster, on that champion of conservation, Al Gore.

Also, since I have a bit of space on this one, I'd like to thank everybody who's turned up and kept coming back. If I had anything remotely resembling artistic talent, I'd do a "Thanks for 200 hits" image... but I don't. I know, it's not a lot, but I did manage it in the shortest month of the year, thanks to you all. Before I start sounding too much like a mangaka in an afterword, I'll cut this short. Let's go for 300 in March.

Self Defense With A Stick

A friend of mine linked me to this the other day, and I thought I'd pass it along, for the amusement value, if nothing else.

Self Defence with a Cane (part one) (part two)

Be Equipped If The Following Should Happen

The obligatory link: What To Do In An Emergency

The link is the important one here. And remember, "If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud."

Short Shots

There are a few targets of opportunity that I couldn't pass up, so here we go.

The obligatory link #1: Bush sends congress $2.90T spending plan

I took one look at that and thought, "Geez, here we go..." On the second look, though, I think my brain came closer to shutting down as I tried to grasp $2.90T. Taking it another way, let's say that random sports figure A plays for 20 years and makes $20M a year. That's only $400M, after 20 years... we're still off by four zeroes going that route. No, I really can't conceive of that amount of money. Then I remember how much of it they're spending on stuff that they're not actually allowed to under the Constitution... Is that steam coming out of my ears?

The obligatory link #2: Super Bowl Ads of Cartoonish Violence, Perhaps Reflecting Toll of War

Brainster already hit this, but it made me twitch when I read it, so I'm going to hit it, too. Honestly, this guy is nearly as desperate to talk up his angle on the world as all the media people were to talk up how "there were two black coaches in the Super Bowl". It's this kind of idiocy that I just can't take. I mean, is there any actual thought involved in this? "A rock" sounds too much like Iraq? Give me a break, seriously... These are commercials, produced to run during a game, not during the breaks of a political debate.

All that said, I didn't see a single one of these commercials. Nor did I see any of the game. I know, I know, it's unnatural for a red-blooded American male not to partake of watching football. Oh well, I'm sure I'll survive having missed it. Besides, it's not like I'll be able to make it through the day without someone telling me who won... so, did I really miss anything?

The obligatory link #3: Experts say bundle up

Somehow, I get the feeling that mothers the world over knew this years ago... Still, it's apparently news to the folks who run the Lansing State Journal in Lansing, MI. Maybe global warming kept it warm up there for their whole lifetimes until now? The truth is, though, that they probably bundled up.

Just Vicious

I'll be the first to admit, I have a wicked sense of humor. Well, apparently, so does whoever came up with this ad for the Volkswagen Polo. Note that I watched it without sound, so I can't say whether or not it contains non-worksafe language.

Found on Youtube, linked from Boortz under the title "German engineering versus Arab technology."

Short Shots

The Hotline, a blog affiliated with the National Journal, says that "freshmen" is out and "new" is in for referring to the freshman class of electees. I've seen some pretty meaningless semantics in my time, but this one has to rank up there.

In checking around on how people found me, I noticed that one person had gone so far as to translate my page into Japanese via Google for their reading pleasure. Problem was, any time that I'd used any Japanese, it came out wholly garbled as incomprehensible gibberish. On the plus side, however, I took a look at the blog roll, and noticed that Google's translation had completely kanjified the link to the Radio Patriots, as follows: 無線の愛国者 (Musen no Aikokusha, musen being the word for wireless or radio, and aikokusha being patriots, or those who love their country).

In continuation of the above, something interesting happened on the way to translating the title tag. Hakkiri Shinasai remained unchanged, but the Please Make It Clear portion was actually translated as "Sore wo meikaku ni sasenasai".

Every time I see a story about how Americans are spending more time on the computer than they are with their family (such as this one from the Denver Post), I get the feeling that I'm skewing the curve for you all.

Just when you think you've seen everything, you find out that police in Tijuana are having their firearms confiscated and replaced with slingshots. Granted, the issue at hand is serious enough for Tijuana, but on the face of it, there's something amusing about the mental image.

Having been a sometimes writer as a hobby, I have to hand it to this guy, who managed to convince a publishing house to turn out copy of a novel done entirely as text messages, including crappy spelling and grammar. It should probably go without saying that I have no desire to read such a thing, however... (but I said it anyway, in the interest of completeness.)

For those who like shooters for the PC, I'd highly suggest this site. Demos of various games, and freebie full versions where applicable. If I might make a couple of suggestions, Perfect Cherry Blossom is, in my estimation, the best of the Touhou top-shooters. There is a fan translation patch that works on the demo here. Other worthy contenders for playtime are (though certainly not limited to these alone) Tyrian 2000, Warning Forever, and any of the other Touhou top-shooters that happen to be laying about there.

So, Who's Miserable?

The obligatory link: Most miserable day of the year

On one level, I can understand the need of some people to be able to quantify something like misery with a number. Not that it helps them do anything with it, mind you, other than being able to think, "Well, at least I'm not as miserable as I was back in XYZ..."

Here's the (supposedly) relevant formula:

Dr Arnalls’ formula is 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA.

Key - W: Weather. D: Debt. d: Money due in January pay. T: Time since Christmas. Q: Time since failed quit attempt. M: General motivational levels. NA: The need to take action.

Now, what I wanted to do was plug things into the formula, just for kicks. However, as you may've noticed if you looked at it, there are a lot of variables that are unworkable without an understanding of their normal range.

Take, for instance W (weather). What's the range for weather? Is a sunny day a 1? A 10? How about if it's cloudy, but not raining or snowing? How about taking the first letter from the word for the given weather and converting it into its equivalent number? (Cloudy would be 3, on that scale, for instance.)

Debt and money due in pay in January are easy, and it's probably safe to assume that the formula wants time since Christmas in days, as well as time since failed quit attempt. But how are we supposed to turn general motivational levels and the need to take action into numeric values?

I suppose the rest of us will have to rely on more seat-of-the-pants calculations... And by those calcs, I'm feelin' pretty good.

Things Worth Seeing

A few things worth your reading time, if I may... Not in any particular order, but if you're only going to read one, it really ought to be the first one.

From the Radio Patriots, Mark and Andrea, the obligatory link #1: It always ends with one word.

From RealClearPolitics, the obligatory link #2: Thomas Sowell's Random Thoughts on the Passing Scene

From the Richmond TimesDispatch, the obligatory link #3: Non-father must pay past-due child support, Ark. court says

From KSTP Channel 5 (Minneapolis), the obligatory link #4: Kids kicked off bus (for speaking English!)

Please Make It Clear

The following is the definition of a "please make it clear" moment:

Going out with my little brother to grab a bite of lunch today, we got stuck behind a taxicab. Usual taxicab markings, numbers to call, various regional sports paraphernalia, and so forth. But, on the left end of the trunk were two words... "Police Interceptor".

So, is the cab moonlighting as a police interceptor, or is the police interceptor moonlighting as a cab?

Obscure Trivia

Name two stories, one from across each ocean, that meet all of the following points:

A boy with glasses and supernatural powers, adopted after his parents were killed, who is connected via a scar to an enemy bent on immortality.

The first ought to be obvious to most people with an ear open to the world of current events over the past eight years... the second one, decidedly less so.

A Time-Waster Is Fine, Too...

Here are a couple little time-wasting flash games for your enjoyment, or headache-inducement, whichever comes first:

Squares 2 - Best I've managed on this is ~12,900 points. It's not a great score, really...

Irritating Game - The point here is to keep both of the two balls in the air by controlling the paddles with your mouse or trackball. The trick is not to over-reach to save one, and thus lose the other. I know, it sounds easy, but I'm moderately proud of the 32.7 seconds I've managed to keep it going. It speeds up as time goes by, after all. Also, in the bottom left-hand corner, there's an option to switch between French and English language for the explanation.